I have survived a demented ex-husband, raising two children, changing countries, and numerous other events in my life. I am not sure I will be able to survive sharing my home with the spawn of Mr Bean.

Spawn [as he shall henceforth be known] moved in and he really is an odd duck.

When he comes in to the lounge or kitchen he never says hello. Is it me or is that odd? I was always taught that greeting people when you enter a room is polite. But hey he is 22 years younger than me so maybe the etiquette has changed during that time.

But he hasn’t been here a week and we have already come to a hurdle.

The hurdles name? Spot. The dog.

Spot has a terrible habit. She jumps and bounces on people when they arrive, barking like a wee lunatic. To try to quell this habit I am following The Dog Whisperer’s advice and ignoring her when I come in. I also ask everyone that visits to do the same. It hasn’t disappeared yet but we are seeing progress. She eventually calms down which is new.

Spawn isn’t to keen on jumpy dogs.

When we discussed his moving in I explained that I had a strategy in place to cure Spot of just that. So to help I asked him to ignore her when he came in. He looked at me a little oddly.

Spawn has a look. It is a look that says I hear you but I am not really listening to what you say. He gave me that look when I was explaining about Spot, however at that point I hadn’t worked out what the look was. In the week since I have seen it so many times I even know the pre-facial expression he gets before he gets the look.

So what is this all about you are probably asking???

Spot jumps on him whenever he comes in. Instead of ignoring Spot Spawn does the exact opposite. Spot thinks he is wonderful. She has a new play buddy who talks to her, pushes her away [which she thinks is a wonderful game], waves his hands around. It is all so exciting. Thank you Mum for getting him !!!

Yesterday we had the following conversation.

Me: “Ummm Spawn, we need to talk. About Spot. You’re not really doing what I suggested and truthfully you are just making it worse. You see she was slowly getting better. Now, not so much. She is jumping on everybody again. I really need you to just ignore her when you come in. No eye contact, no gestures, no talking to her. Okay?”

Spawn: “I don’t think that will work.”

Me: “Okay. I actually do. So we will just try it for a while. Okay?”

Spawn: “No, I don’t think it will work.”

Me: “I know. But the thing is I do. So I want to try it. Okay?”

Spawn: “No…I don’t think it will work.”

Me: “Okay. I get that. But, it was getting better. And I want to give it a proper try”

Spawn [shaking his head]: “No I’m sure it won’t work.”

Me: “But you see Spawn, it’s like this. It is my dog. I want to try it and for it to work everyone in the house has to do it. So I need you to do it as well.”

Spawn [giving me the look] : “No. I don’t think I can do that.”

Me: “Just try.”

Spawn: “No. I don’t think I can.”

Me: “Why not?”

Spawn: “I don’t think it will work.”

Like I said…the flatmate from HELL!!!

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